5 Tips to prevent premature ejaculation
Ask any man, and you’ll probably find that most men wish they could last longer during sex. I mean, let’s face it – it feels great – and if we could, most men would be happy to spend the better part of a day having sex. Unfortunately, none of us can last that long – and many men are lucky if they last more than 5 minutes! If you find yourself unable to control the timing of your ejaculation, and usually ejaculate before you want to, then you may meet the criteria of what we consider “premature ejaculation” (PE). Over 1/3 of men ages 18 to 59 deal with premature ejaculation at some point – and most find it to be an extremely unpleasant situation. The fact is that almost all of us men wish we could delay our ejaculation – and for good reason! (1) Sex feels great, so why not help it last longer? and (2) Many women take longer to orgasm than men do. For men with female partners, lasting long enough to stimulate her to the point of pleasure or orgasm can help mean the difference between “OK” sex and “GREAT” sex.
Here are a few tips to help prevent PE – some require great effort, others are quick fixes and some require a visit to a healthcare provider but all are commonly recommended by sexual health professionals (sex educators, therapists, sexual medicine doctors):
1. Wear a condom. While some men are not huge fans of wearing a condom, a small barrier between them and their partner is enough to help decrease sensation to the penis (especially if it’s a slightly thicker condom) and help them laster longer during sex. Of course, if you’re trying to become pregnant, you may want to only use this strategy when your wife or girlfriend isn’t ovulating and then during her fertile days, go condom-less and trade a few extra minutes of sex for the possibility of a baby.
2. Use a desensitizing condom. Consider a performance-enhancing condom that contains a numbing agent, such as lidocaine or benzocaine, inside the condom. If you’re also prone to erectile problems, or if you have very sensitive skin, these condoms may not be the best choice for you. If you’re not sure, try using one during masturbation before using it with a partner. These condoms can help many men to last a few minutes longer, again by slightly decreasing sensation to the penis. However, please avoid slathering lidocaine or benzocaine on your naked penis and then having sex without a condom – this could numb your partner’s vagina and feel uncomfortable for her. Also, don’t expect oral sex afterwords as she probably doesn’t these chemicals in her mouth.
3. Try the stop-start or squeeze techniques. These take dedication but they have long been recommended by sex therapists to men who wish to last longer during sex. They involve stimulating the penis during masturbation until just before the point of no return (when a man will ejaculate no matter what) then either stopping all stimulation (for stop-start) or gently squeezing the glans (head) of the penis (for the squeeze technique). Wait for arousal to decrease slightly then start again. Repeat one more time and on the third time, give yourself a break and let yourself ejaculate. Over time, you may become better tuned to the sensations that cue you into your imminent ejaculation. This awareness will eventually give you the chance to last longer by reminding you to hold still, pull out from your partner and gently squeeze the head of the penis, or pull out and briefly switch to a less sensational position for a few moments.
4. Consider SSRI antidepressants. Though we don’t fully understand the neurochemistry behind male orgasm, let alone premature ejaculation, it seems that ejaculation must have something to do with serotonin. After all, men who take SSRI antidepressants sometimes experience difficulty with ejaculating. Other times, men who have problems with PE find that SSRIs help them to delay ejaculation by several minutes. This has led researchers to study certain doses of certain types of SSRIs for the treatment of PE. If this possibility interests you, please speak with a doctor who is experienced in treating male ejaculatory issues and see if it’s the right strategy for you. Also, there are natural supplements to treat PE which can be equally effective without any of the negative side effects often found in antidepressants.
5. Expand your sexual experience. Although it’s difficult for many men to believe, many women are quite happy with shorter bouts of intercourse. After all, vaginal intercourse can be demanding on their bodies. Try making it up for the shorter intercourse by adding to the “front end” of the experience with increased foreplay, and digital or oral stimulation. Ask her what brings her the most pleasure and/or helps her to orgasm. Would she like oral sex? For you to stimulate her with a vibrator or your fingers? To kiss or make out for 10 or 20 minutes before or after intercourse? To stick around and see if you’re up for Round 2 a little later on? Often times when a man focuses on his partner’s pleasure instead of worrying about his own ‘performance’ – the reduction in stress and anxiety can often enhance his performance unknowingly.
These are just a few things you can try at home to help stop premature ejaculation. Communication with your partner is extremely important – and having a sympathetic and willing partner who’s working to help you overcome your PE will go a long way to improving both the sex and relationship you share. Try some of the tips above and you may find your premature ejaculation problems gradually becoming a distant memory. If you’re not quite as patient and you’re looking to fast-track overcoming premature ejaculation, check out our product reviews for natural solutions that work to stop premature ejaculation and help restore sexual stamina.