What Premature Ejaculation can do to your sex life.
Aside from impotence, not many sexual issues scare a guy more than premature ejaculation. It’s hard to feel like a stud when you ejaculate 2 minutes into sex with your dream girl. But can premature ejaculation really destroy your sex life? Well – unfortunately, the results are in, and science confirms it: Premature ejaculation (PE) can really put a damper on your sex life—and maybe even your relationship, according to a new study published the Journal of Sexual Medicine. But the reason why PE can ruin a good time may surprise you. A full 79 percent of women reported a low sex drive and sexual dissatisfaction when they were with a guy who suffered from PE.
In short, your inability to “get it on” – may well be turning her off. However, it wasn’t just the shorter sex that made them mad. In fact, 48 percent of women said the real problem was that their guys weren’t paying attention to their needs (like kissing and caressing) and instead were more focused on boosting their performance or duration. So note to any of the guys reading this: Distracting yourself with thoughts of baseball or Margaret Thatcher naked are not a suitable tactic!
This research came from a study of over 1,400 women in three different countries (Italy, South Korea, and Mexico). The women were asked to fill out questionnaires about their sexual and relationship satisfaction with men who orgasmed too quickly (defined in this study as under two minutes). While the researchers only got the female point of view, these women perceived their partners to be focusing less on them and more on going the distance. They felt like the men were so focused on holding out that they were skimping on the important stuff – like actually pleasing you. That said, it’s important to note that those men weren’t interviewed in the study. So it’s entirely possible that these guys weren’t focusing too much on their PE—they might just be selfish in bed!
Interestingly, PE can even affect relationship satisfaction. Forty percent of participants reported feeling more satisfied as a couple if the man didn’t have this problem. And about 20 percent of women said PE was a major issue in a relationship. Plus, women who considered longer sex to be crucial were more likely to split from a guy based on penis problems.
Here’s what women had to say on the problems of premature ejaculation: “It’s definitely frustrating if your guy reaches his peak way before you do, and it’s even more nerve-wracking if his idea of holding out involves totally disconnecting from you. That said, it’s normal for him to get a little too excited every once in a while (he is having sex after all).” In fact, the Mayo Clinic estimates that as many as 1 in the 3 men will experience PE at some point in their lives.
“If he’s constantly tapping out sooner than you’d like, tread carefully. Men are very sensitive about their sexual performance (aren’t we all?!), so you’ll need a gentle approach to talk about it,” says sex expert Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered—For Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex.
“Start by complimenting their bedroom skills, and slowly suggest some ways to make sex better for both of you—like extending oral sex on you or bringing him to the brink of an orgasm during masturbation and cooling off for a bit. You can also try condoms designed to reduce sensation to the penis and help him last a few more minutes.” If the problem persists, he may want to talk to a sex therapist or urologist about the issue. To start, here are some research-backed tips to help him last longer in bed.