Premature Ejaculation – What women think.

“It’s OK – it doesn’t matter to me” To a man, almost every guy has heard these words from his partner if he’s suffering from premature ejaculation. Few sexual problems are more embarassing and emasculating to a man than premature ejaculation. Being a premature ejaculator can have devastating effects in a man’s confidence and sexual enjoyment. But what do women say?

Well, nearly two-thirds of them have had sex with a man who experienced premature ejaculation, according to a recent survey of 900 women conducted by and Cosmopolitan magazine. PE strikes men of all ages, and the condition affects virtually all men at some time in their lives. Dr. McCullough and Dr. Barada surveyed more than 1,100 men with PE and found that those men report less satisfaction and more anxiety about their sexual relationships. It can wreck their confidence and cause them to avoid new relationships.

Why isn’t the media talking about PE? According to urologists Andrew McCullough, M.D., of the New York University school of medicine, and James Barada, M.D., of the Albany College of Medicine, PE is the number-one sexual-health problem afflicting men, and is three times more common than erectile dysfunction (ED). Estimates vary, but 20 percent to 30 percent of men suffer from PE—and those figures are based on self-reported studies.

It is probably obvious that women should never blame or shame a man for ejaculating rapidly. It does happen, however, that a woman might feel frustrated and say something like “If you love me, you’d wait.” Rapid ejaculation has nothing to with love, and everything to do with a super-sensitive nervous system. Even more destructive to a male ego is a comment such as “The last two men could last half an hour, so what’s wrong with you!”

In good sex, there are no demands made and no judgments passed. Men tend to be intercourse-oriented, and women often need to be persistent and patient in teaching their partners that there is more to making love than just “doing it.” Consider the concept of “fail-safe” sexuality, which says that in a caring and intimate relationship, there is never a failure. The emotional bonding is great if there is intercourse, and great if there is not. It is wonderful if there are orgasms, and wonderful if there are none. It is fantastic if it lasts an hour, and fantastic if it is just a quickie. Above all, our sexuality and intimacy should always be fun. The reality is that great sex doesn’t come to perfect timing or lasting a certain amount of minutes. It’s all about the connection and the pleasure that is shared, and if both couples are open and honest, then premature ejaculation doesn’t have to be the end of sexual pleasure.

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